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It was a miracle!

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Or at least it seemed like one if you didn't know what I knew: Don had never actually had cancer. The "scare" started because my pastor claimed God had told him Don was going to die unless he received a massive dose of Vitamin P rayer. The faith healer giveth cancer, and the faith healer taketh it away.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement See, faith healing works best with people who are probably going to get better anyway. Some healthy young person has a cold or flu?

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If you tell them they're healed, the power of suggestion and a bunch of cheering people will make them feel momentarily better. And by the time church comes 'round next week, they'll be over whatever was ailing them.

Yep, we are taking credit for the general concept of an immune system. We'd read them in secret, and then repeat their prayers back to them word for word while we laid hands on them.

It was easier for them to assume "miracle" than it was to think their trusted spiritual leaders were running a con. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Don's cancer scare wasn't a one-off. We're not some sort of Holy MRI, but they believe whatever we say.

And when simple gullibility wasn't enough, we got by with a little help from our homeless friends. Yes, we hired hobos as actors. We often did outreach to the homeless in the city, so we knew where to look.

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The first time I was involved, the person we hired was just passing through. He was trying to get back home he was somewhere from the southand we offered to pay his way. He was our final act of the service. I had instructed him to hobble up on stage with a wooden cane.

He was probably in his late 40's and wore fatigues, so he looked like a soldier who had fallen on hard times.

When he got on stage, I instantly laid in on him, screaming for God to heal this man's lame leg. After about a minute of hollerin' at God, I told the guy to start taking steps without his cane, and then encouraged him to run a bit, which he did fine.

While he was doing that, I tried to break the cane over my leg, which only ended up giving me a bruise. Instead, I threw it away from the stage. When the guy finally tried to get off the stage, he ended up falling. He was fine, but he also was drunk we said "touched by the Spirit," which is a euphemism we suggest everybody uses from now on.

On one occasion, we had hired a young "actor. I placed him in a wheelchair, and gave him a backstory about being struck by a drunk driver. He was the last person to be "healed" that day, and I wanted to make sure we ended with excitement.

After he was rolled up on stage, I went into my God-hollerin', and then forcefully dumped him out of the wheelchair, demanding the power of the Lord compel him to walk. He toppled onto the stage, and then slowly stood up. Continue Reading Below Advertisement I got to pretend I was magic, Mystique got to pretend he was an actor, and the congregation got to pretend their weekly donation was the same as having healthcare.

Everybody won except for actual sick people, and we tried not to let them up on stage.Rats in the Grain: The Dirty Tricks and Trials of Archer Daniels Midland, the Supermarket to the World [James Lieber] on *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.

Beneath the wholesome image of Archer Daniels Midland lie some of the dirtiest practices in American business: price-fixing. Visit for the latest issue of Inc. Magazine and get advice, tools, and services that help your small business grow.

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